The Bad Boys - Why women find them attractive

Women have always found bad boys more appealing.

I don't think women anywhere find women-beaters or cavemen attractive in any way, so they do not figure anywhere in my "Bad Guys" category.

No, when I mean bad guys, I'm not talking just about the stud with the scary tattoo, or the mean looking biker, or the one steeped in alcohol/dope over a loved one, or the commitment-phobe ; the bad boys could be rebels in their own right, but all with supposedly good intentions and an armored heart.

So why do women find these bad boys attractive?

* Some women harbor this romantic notion that once a bad boy falls for them, these women could change the man by the power of their love. These women want to be the one whom the commitment-phobe married or the one who tasted sweeter than alcohol or coke.They see themselves as saviors or nurturers of these men.

* Women think these social rebels could never be boring and a relationship with these guys would be exciting.

* The challenge that no woman before her could tame him.

* The belief that these men are really good under the sack and the unfounded belief that she will be the last mermaid for his sailor.
                                                                                                               
* Women believe that underneath all that ruggedness and lashing out, beats a heart of gold that's waiting to be taken.

However, a research has proven that though women are attracted towards bad boys, they'd rather have good ones as husbands.

So are the bad boys doomed to be alone? Are the women playing savior for men who don't want to be saved?

Why it's important to learn how to scream-- Be aware.

Are you a woman travelling by public transport, walking back home or to a nearby place, returning home from college/work late or wade through crowds, then this is a must read for you.

Am sure every female would have come across men passing comments, coming too close for comfort, following us or brushing against us even when there's ample space for two people.

And all this even when you are clad in something called a Salwar-Kameez and look like a female clone of Will Ferrell. Some people would jump into conclusions thinking that these things happened only to Jeans-T shirt clad women. The above line was for them.

The mistake we women do is that we keep quiet, thinking speaking out loud will draw more trouble.

Contrary to popular belief, when we keep quiet, this only emboldens the perpetrator who thinks he got away with it and will try it again.

So what can you do when facing such situations? Read on:

* Some guy standing too close while travelling? Tell him to back off in a loud and clear voice. A guilty man never has the courage to retaliate in public.

* Scream aloud if you have to. Make a fuss,draw a crowd. Always know that you are never alone and help will be given only if you ask for it.

* Chances are that either you draw a crowd, who thrash him and hand him over to the police or you endure in silence. It is your choice.

* When walking alone, be aware of your surroundings. Your I-pod will only distract you. Talking on a phone does not scare away anyone. It keeps away your fears but will not help you unless that's a call to the police or someone who can arrive on time.

* When you walk faster or run, you give the knowledge to the assailant that you are scared. This makes him bold. Take a deep breath and scream a call for help.Or else walk into any residential area or apartments and ring someone for help.

* Always walk in well lit and crowded areas. The more you are visible, the lesser chances of encountering hooligans.

* When walking through crowded places, hold your bag in front of you and make eye contact with anyone trying to act funny.

* Self defense only helps as long as you are keen on using it. So if you're a black belt but a timid miss ... GET OVER IT!

* Some of us have the habit of walking with our head bowed down. Unfortunately, this does not keep the sex-starved men in this country, at bay. In fact, this makes a woman look weak and very gullible.

* Research tells that if a woman walks with normal strides ,shows confidence and looks a man in his eye, he'd think twice before trying anything.

* Remember Pepper sprays and deodorants are weapons that can be used by the assailant on you too. Carry sturdy sharp objects.(I usually carry a compass. Maybe I should upgrade?)

* If you have to throw a punch, hit the nose and/or the Adam's Apple.Just make sure, he is caught unawares and deliver the hit as powerful as possible.

* There's always safety in numbers. Call the male members of your family or trusted male friends if you are too scared.

* Trust your instincts.

Get over your shock and learn to scream like a mad woman. Use words calling for help when you scream,instead of the ones we see in horror movies. When you are in shock it's highly unlikely that you'd be able to scream like that immediately.Using words fuels your anger and anger is good in these situations.
Help another woman if she is too shocked to ask for help. Be brave and confident.That makes you scary to others.

And woman, you have a right to walk with your head held high.
All women must take care and gentlemen must pass this on to their loved ones.

Why guys sometimes are better friends...

I have some really close girl pals, but they are very few in number. Whereas, I can count my guy friends using all ten fingers.
Before, I thought this anomaly was another element of my complex-personality. But when I checked with my girl pals, we all seemed to agree on this.

So, why are guys better friends?

* They are fun.

No offense, some of us women have a good sense of humor but most men really have a knack for it. If there's a moment of hilarity with adult undertones, guys will probably laugh over it for a while, then get back to important issues. Some girls clam up. For them this would turn into an important issue. All I can say to them is, stop being anal retentive.

* Some men don't gossip

This is a pretty good thing, which I believe all men could follow. On the contrary, almost all girls gossip and some bitch around.
At this juncture, I'd like to differentiate gossip as fact involving you or fact not even remotely concerning you. 'Bitching' is when girls, displaying characteristics synonymous with scheming evil witches, exaggerate fact with their own fiction and in some cases complete fiction.
I am yet to meet a guy belonging to the above category and even if I do, I am walking the other way. Somehow, I lose my respect for people who lack honesty and decorum.

* They really don't care what other people think

Guys like to have their egos and self-respect in tact. But unlike women, they are not obsessed with what other people think about them.They make friends because they gel well. Some girls lose their own individuality to make friends so that they feel accepted.

* The trust factor

Women around the world seem to trust a guy friend more than a female acquaintance. There are certain things only gal pals can understand and things only a guy can. It's kind of a fact that guys think women are not trustworthy. I'd like to think that myself and few other women, are an exception.I feel very honored when my guy pals trust me. That makes me feel like one of them. :)

* They don't feel the need to upstage us

When a bunch of girls go out, each one wants to receive more attention than the other. Not a sin. Women are programmed that way. But when women go out with platonic guy friends, we'd rather be comfortable and enjoy the moment.

* The guy friends are not competition

They do not have qualms about providing guidance to their close friends. They instill the determination to achieve. Men compete but they also help out their close friends in need. Men have an unwritten code regarding sycophants and back-stabbers. They never respect such people and have very low tolerance towards those scum bags.
Women perceive other women as competition. We'd rather stay quiet than helping out another one of us in need.

Am yet to come across other reasons on why guys are better pals. Will keep you posted.


Am more of a 'split the bill' kinda girl so I do not let others pay my bills.More often I pay theirs.( GIMME MY MONEY!!). Further more, am yet to receive any solid evidence of their help apart from the occasional therapy they provide when am crying my heart out. So the above observation has been made truly without any kind of bribery involved.


PS: Any future rewards shall be appreciated and dealt with in kind. :-p

How to make a sad person be Happy

In the cynical world we live in, being self-centered and shrewd is seen as being clever or smart. 'Survival of the fittest' has its origins from the great Mr.Darwin and has wound its way into the depth of humanity.

Sometimes I wonder how other living beings co-exist.Of course the deer is hunted down by the ever-powerful tiger but how would you explain instances where a wolf nurses a lion cub, which lost its mother? Or when a wild elephant stays with its young that has fallen into a pit , without concern to its own safety?

I get goosebumps when I read such articles in the news. These animals, without the supposedly-human sixth sense put us to shame. And we humans constantly want better lives, but we are actually debasing ourselves.

We are running around in circles trying to be satisfied with life. The minute we stop running, the world as we know it would reach a stand-still.I am sane enough to realize we will never stop, irrespective of the amount of natural disasters that come our way.
But what I realize is that in another Hundred years, we'd be mere husks of humanity.
And I want to do my best to stave off this possibility.

We have the notion that compassion is extending help to those who may not be privileged as we are.
We fail to realize that in daily life, our friends, our family or acquaintances sometimes need compassion too.

How to make a Sad person Happy?

1. A person could be sad for many reasons, sometimes they just need a patient ear, so listen.

2. I came across this pearl of wisdom--"Never ask what is wrong. Ask how you can help." The person may not want to share what is troubling them, but if you are keen on helping them, ask them how you can help.

3. Sometimes even when you extend your desire to help, they may be skeptical. Let them know you are still waiting with your hand held out.

4. These things will make them realize that someone is willing to bring them out of their gloom.That will certainly alleviate the depression.

5. Give them chocolate. It has been scientifically proven to make us feel better.

6. Try to cheer them up by sharing common activities together. Laughter is truly contagious.

7. Give them inexpensive, but funny gifts.
Case in point: I once received a crude stone with my name painted on it. I didn't know whether I should laugh or throw it back.But it made me happy. :) Or how about an ice-cream of their favorite flavor?

8. If they are female,show them pictures of female actors with nose jobs and tell the person they have a wonderful nose.

9. If they are male, show them pictures of female actors who've done all kinds of jobs. That will surely perk them up .(Pun intended);-D

10. Give them time to heal but stay with them all the while.


Remember someday you may need a shoulder to lean on.

This list is never ending. Are there other ways to make people happy? Do let me know :)

What women want from Men and what we actually get..

I have always been keen on reading and, researching about the varying facets of human personalities. The most repetitive line I've come across is that, "Women are a puzzle". On the contrary, we're very simple beings with basic expectations from our opposite sex.

Be it our fathers, brothers, friends, spouses or the strangers we come across while travelling, while shopping and the occasional creeps. This is what we expect from you men, and what we actually get.

What women expect from men:

1. Respect:
One of the defining factors of the Homo sapiens existence. Women do not want to be referenced as Madame, we know that's asking for too much in this age.
We would like men to respect our decisions and we want our opinions to be listened to.
Women are programmed to feel uncomfortable when men come too close within our physical space.
We know we are made differently from men and we are the weaker sex in terms of physique.
But, respect us for our minds, our beliefs and our tenacity to over come all odds we face in this male dominated world.

What we get:
We are told by the outside world that it is not our place to have a voice and if we did, we have to face consequences.
Some of us lucky ones may have the freedom,our needs for a better education or work valued, but we cannot truly say that we have escaped the,"you are a girl" line.
No matter what we achieve or are striving to, it is harder for us than you. Appreciate the fact that we have to work twice as hard as men to prove ourselves.
We are made to live in fear that we must return home sooner from school, college or work. Our fathers and brothers try to protect us from other men. Chivalry from stranger will never go unacknowledged.These men do not expect anything, they just help because that's how they are.Women respect such men, who help us in our time of need.

2.We expect financial stability:
Women are always thought of as greedy for money, the truth is we just expect financial security.
We do not seek Prada bags, Jimmy Choos and Audi cars if you cannot afford it, but if you can, we do not see the harm in asking you out on a splurge. ;)
Financial security has been programmed into the women's brain from time immemorial.We have been the nurturers and men providers. Now we are multitasking being both. We just expect men to be good providers. How, expecting a good salary ,so that we do not incur debt; have healthy food;or forced to live frugally; a home in a decent neighborhood and our occasional clothing splurges can seem money-minded is ridiculous. We do not want to live rich. We want to live comfortably.But, I agree comfort factor varies for different women. If we are accustomed to a certain life style and then we find that our expectations are not met, we are of course likely to complain.
Just be sure you pick the right one. ;)

What we get:
Tirades on how much shopping we do, being termed as gold diggers. Even after providing a considerable income, managing the household and putting up with the manly egos, we are ridiculed if we splurge once a while. Women are more cautious to first see that the rent and all bills are paid and ONLY THEN some of us save like misers and some shop like kings.

3. Appreciation/Care:

Respect goes hand in hand with appreciation or care. Say, we've had a bad day at college or work, have a care to ask us what went wrong. We know you cannot resolve all our problems, but we'd be happy that you asked. Once in a while, pitch in when we ask you something from the groceries. When we cook our arses off to please you, and it turns to be a damp squib, laugh it off and remember we've made some good food too. If we are sick, know that we hate it more than you do.

What we get:
Of course, some of the male species are very intelligent they take us out, protect us, buy us things,and make us feel cherished. For all those men, we women salute. The others however, confuse being affectionate as being weak or less manly, hence they try and put us down every chance they get.
For them,I have to say that the men who show that they care,acknowledge the fact that the women in their lives only make them stronger and not weaker.

So I conclude that the women in your life, your sisters;mothers; girlfriends/spouses; colleagues; the nameless women who struggle daily to get a seat on the public transport; the woman peddler on the streets; the woman who hears the cat-calls and comments but walks away like nothing happened and this humble blogger just want:
To be treated with dignity and earn our respect,
To give a little Affection/Love which we so easily share with you,
To provide physical,emotional and financial security.

Now, Is that so difficult??