I have some really close girl pals, but they are very few in number. Whereas, I can count my guy friends using all ten fingers.
Before, I thought this anomaly was another element of my complex-personality. But when I checked with my girl pals, we all seemed to agree on this.
So, why are guys better friends?
* They are fun.
No offense, some of us women have a good sense of humor but most men really have a knack for it. If there's a moment of hilarity with adult undertones, guys will probably laugh over it for a while, then get back to important issues. Some girls clam up. For them this would turn into an important issue. All I can say to them is, stop being anal retentive.
* Some men don't gossip
This is a pretty good thing, which I believe all men could follow. On the contrary, almost all girls gossip and some bitch around.
At this juncture, I'd like to differentiate gossip as fact involving you or fact not even remotely concerning you. 'Bitching' is when girls, displaying characteristics synonymous with scheming evil witches, exaggerate fact with their own fiction and in some cases complete fiction.
I am yet to meet a guy belonging to the above category and even if I do, I am walking the other way. Somehow, I lose my respect for people who lack honesty and decorum.
* They really don't care what other people think
Guys like to have their egos and self-respect in tact. But unlike women, they are not obsessed with what other people think about them.They make friends because they gel well. Some girls lose their own individuality to make friends so that they feel accepted.
* The trust factor
Women around the world seem to trust a guy friend more than a female acquaintance. There are certain things only gal pals can understand and things only a guy can. It's kind of a fact that guys think women are not trustworthy. I'd like to think that myself and few other women, are an exception.I feel very honored when my guy pals trust me. That makes me feel like one of them. :)
* They don't feel the need to upstage us
When a bunch of girls go out, each one wants to receive more attention than the other. Not a sin. Women are programmed that way. But when women go out with platonic guy friends, we'd rather be comfortable and enjoy the moment.
* The guy friends are not competition
They do not have qualms about providing guidance to their close friends. They instill the determination to achieve. Men compete but they also help out their close friends in need. Men have an unwritten code regarding sycophants and back-stabbers. They never respect such people and have very low tolerance towards those scum bags.
Women perceive other women as competition. We'd rather stay quiet than helping out another one of us in need.
Am yet to come across other reasons on why guys are better pals. Will keep you posted.
Am more of a 'split the bill' kinda girl so I do not let others pay my bills.More often I pay theirs.( GIMME MY MONEY!!). Further more, am yet to receive any solid evidence of their help apart from the occasional therapy they provide when am crying my heart out. So the above observation has been made truly without any kind of bribery involved.
PS: Any future rewards shall be appreciated and dealt with in kind. :-p
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
How to make a sad person be Happy
In the cynical world we live in, being self-centered and shrewd is seen as being clever or smart. 'Survival of the fittest' has its origins from the great Mr.Darwin and has wound its way into the depth of humanity.
Sometimes I wonder how other living beings co-exist.Of course the deer is hunted down by the ever-powerful tiger but how would you explain instances where a wolf nurses a lion cub, which lost its mother? Or when a wild elephant stays with its young that has fallen into a pit , without concern to its own safety?
I get goosebumps when I read such articles in the news. These animals, without the supposedly-human sixth sense put us to shame. And we humans constantly want better lives, but we are actually debasing ourselves.
We are running around in circles trying to be satisfied with life. The minute we stop running, the world as we know it would reach a stand-still.I am sane enough to realize we will never stop, irrespective of the amount of natural disasters that come our way.
But what I realize is that in another Hundred years, we'd be mere husks of humanity.
And I want to do my best to stave off this possibility.
We have the notion that compassion is extending help to those who may not be privileged as we are.
We fail to realize that in daily life, our friends, our family or acquaintances sometimes need compassion too.
How to make a Sad person Happy?
1. A person could be sad for many reasons, sometimes they just need a patient ear, so listen.
2. I came across this pearl of wisdom--"Never ask what is wrong. Ask how you can help." The person may not want to share what is troubling them, but if you are keen on helping them, ask them how you can help.
3. Sometimes even when you extend your desire to help, they may be skeptical. Let them know you are still waiting with your hand held out.
4. These things will make them realize that someone is willing to bring them out of their gloom.That will certainly alleviate the depression.
5. Give them chocolate. It has been scientifically proven to make us feel better.
6. Try to cheer them up by sharing common activities together. Laughter is truly contagious.
7. Give them inexpensive, but funny gifts.
Case in point: I once received a crude stone with my name painted on it. I didn't know whether I should laugh or throw it back.But it made me happy. :) Or how about an ice-cream of their favorite flavor?
8. If they are female,show them pictures of female actors with nose jobs and tell the person they have a wonderful nose.
9. If they are male, show them pictures of female actors who've done all kinds of jobs. That will surely perk them up .(Pun intended);-D
10. Give them time to heal but stay with them all the while.
Remember someday you may need a shoulder to lean on.
This list is never ending. Are there other ways to make people happy? Do let me know :)
Sometimes I wonder how other living beings co-exist.Of course the deer is hunted down by the ever-powerful tiger but how would you explain instances where a wolf nurses a lion cub, which lost its mother? Or when a wild elephant stays with its young that has fallen into a pit , without concern to its own safety?
I get goosebumps when I read such articles in the news. These animals, without the supposedly-human sixth sense put us to shame. And we humans constantly want better lives, but we are actually debasing ourselves.
We are running around in circles trying to be satisfied with life. The minute we stop running, the world as we know it would reach a stand-still.I am sane enough to realize we will never stop, irrespective of the amount of natural disasters that come our way.
But what I realize is that in another Hundred years, we'd be mere husks of humanity.
And I want to do my best to stave off this possibility.
We have the notion that compassion is extending help to those who may not be privileged as we are.
We fail to realize that in daily life, our friends, our family or acquaintances sometimes need compassion too.
How to make a Sad person Happy?
1. A person could be sad for many reasons, sometimes they just need a patient ear, so listen.
2. I came across this pearl of wisdom--"Never ask what is wrong. Ask how you can help." The person may not want to share what is troubling them, but if you are keen on helping them, ask them how you can help.
3. Sometimes even when you extend your desire to help, they may be skeptical. Let them know you are still waiting with your hand held out.
4. These things will make them realize that someone is willing to bring them out of their gloom.That will certainly alleviate the depression.
5. Give them chocolate. It has been scientifically proven to make us feel better.
6. Try to cheer them up by sharing common activities together. Laughter is truly contagious.
7. Give them inexpensive, but funny gifts.
Case in point: I once received a crude stone with my name painted on it. I didn't know whether I should laugh or throw it back.But it made me happy. :) Or how about an ice-cream of their favorite flavor?
8. If they are female,show them pictures of female actors with nose jobs and tell the person they have a wonderful nose.
9. If they are male, show them pictures of female actors who've done all kinds of jobs. That will surely perk them up .(Pun intended);-D
10. Give them time to heal but stay with them all the while.
Remember someday you may need a shoulder to lean on.
This list is never ending. Are there other ways to make people happy? Do let me know :)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
What women want from Men and what we actually get..
I have always been keen on reading and, researching about the varying facets of human personalities. The most repetitive line I've come across is that, "Women are a puzzle". On the contrary, we're very simple beings with basic expectations from our opposite sex.
Be it our fathers, brothers, friends, spouses or the strangers we come across while travelling, while shopping and the occasional creeps. This is what we expect from you men, and what we actually get.
What women expect from men:
1. Respect:
One of the defining factors of the Homo sapiens existence. Women do not want to be referenced as Madame, we know that's asking for too much in this age.
We would like men to respect our decisions and we want our opinions to be listened to.
Women are programmed to feel uncomfortable when men come too close within our physical space.
We know we are made differently from men and we are the weaker sex in terms of physique.
But, respect us for our minds, our beliefs and our tenacity to over come all odds we face in this male dominated world.
What we get:
We are told by the outside world that it is not our place to have a voice and if we did, we have to face consequences.
Some of us lucky ones may have the freedom,our needs for a better education or work valued, but we cannot truly say that we have escaped the,"you are a girl" line.
No matter what we achieve or are striving to, it is harder for us than you. Appreciate the fact that we have to work twice as hard as men to prove ourselves.
We are made to live in fear that we must return home sooner from school, college or work. Our fathers and brothers try to protect us from other men. Chivalry from stranger will never go unacknowledged.These men do not expect anything, they just help because that's how they are.Women respect such men, who help us in our time of need.
2.We expect financial stability:
Women are always thought of as greedy for money, the truth is we just expect financial security.
We do not seek Prada bags, Jimmy Choos and Audi cars if you cannot afford it, but if you can, we do not see the harm in asking you out on a splurge. ;)
Financial security has been programmed into the women's brain from time immemorial.We have been the nurturers and men providers. Now we are multitasking being both. We just expect men to be good providers. How, expecting a good salary ,so that we do not incur debt; have healthy food;or forced to live frugally; a home in a decent neighborhood and our occasional clothing splurges can seem money-minded is ridiculous. We do not want to live rich. We want to live comfortably.But, I agree comfort factor varies for different women. If we are accustomed to a certain life style and then we find that our expectations are not met, we are of course likely to complain.
Just be sure you pick the right one. ;)
What we get:
Tirades on how much shopping we do, being termed as gold diggers. Even after providing a considerable income, managing the household and putting up with the manly egos, we are ridiculed if we splurge once a while. Women are more cautious to first see that the rent and all bills are paid and ONLY THEN some of us save like misers and some shop like kings.
3. Appreciation/Care:
Respect goes hand in hand with appreciation or care. Say, we've had a bad day at college or work, have a care to ask us what went wrong. We know you cannot resolve all our problems, but we'd be happy that you asked. Once in a while, pitch in when we ask you something from the groceries. When we cook our arses off to please you, and it turns to be a damp squib, laugh it off and remember we've made some good food too. If we are sick, know that we hate it more than you do.
What we get:
Of course, some of the male species are very intelligent they take us out, protect us, buy us things,and make us feel cherished. For all those men, we women salute. The others however, confuse being affectionate as being weak or less manly, hence they try and put us down every chance they get.
For them,I have to say that the men who show that they care,acknowledge the fact that the women in their lives only make them stronger and not weaker.
So I conclude that the women in your life, your sisters;mothers; girlfriends/spouses; colleagues; the nameless women who struggle daily to get a seat on the public transport; the woman peddler on the streets; the woman who hears the cat-calls and comments but walks away like nothing happened and this humble blogger just want:
To be treated with dignity and earn our respect,
To give a little Affection/Love which we so easily share with you,
To provide physical,emotional and financial security.
Now, Is that so difficult??
Be it our fathers, brothers, friends, spouses or the strangers we come across while travelling, while shopping and the occasional creeps. This is what we expect from you men, and what we actually get.
What women expect from men:
1. Respect:
One of the defining factors of the Homo sapiens existence. Women do not want to be referenced as Madame, we know that's asking for too much in this age.
We would like men to respect our decisions and we want our opinions to be listened to.
Women are programmed to feel uncomfortable when men come too close within our physical space.
We know we are made differently from men and we are the weaker sex in terms of physique.
But, respect us for our minds, our beliefs and our tenacity to over come all odds we face in this male dominated world.
What we get:
We are told by the outside world that it is not our place to have a voice and if we did, we have to face consequences.
Some of us lucky ones may have the freedom,our needs for a better education or work valued, but we cannot truly say that we have escaped the,"you are a girl" line.
No matter what we achieve or are striving to, it is harder for us than you. Appreciate the fact that we have to work twice as hard as men to prove ourselves.
We are made to live in fear that we must return home sooner from school, college or work. Our fathers and brothers try to protect us from other men. Chivalry from stranger will never go unacknowledged.These men do not expect anything, they just help because that's how they are.Women respect such men, who help us in our time of need.
2.We expect financial stability:
Women are always thought of as greedy for money, the truth is we just expect financial security.
We do not seek Prada bags, Jimmy Choos and Audi cars if you cannot afford it, but if you can, we do not see the harm in asking you out on a splurge. ;)
Financial security has been programmed into the women's brain from time immemorial.We have been the nurturers and men providers. Now we are multitasking being both. We just expect men to be good providers. How, expecting a good salary ,so that we do not incur debt; have healthy food;or forced to live frugally; a home in a decent neighborhood and our occasional clothing splurges can seem money-minded is ridiculous. We do not want to live rich. We want to live comfortably.But, I agree comfort factor varies for different women. If we are accustomed to a certain life style and then we find that our expectations are not met, we are of course likely to complain.
Just be sure you pick the right one. ;)
What we get:
Tirades on how much shopping we do, being termed as gold diggers. Even after providing a considerable income, managing the household and putting up with the manly egos, we are ridiculed if we splurge once a while. Women are more cautious to first see that the rent and all bills are paid and ONLY THEN some of us save like misers and some shop like kings.
3. Appreciation/Care:
Respect goes hand in hand with appreciation or care. Say, we've had a bad day at college or work, have a care to ask us what went wrong. We know you cannot resolve all our problems, but we'd be happy that you asked. Once in a while, pitch in when we ask you something from the groceries. When we cook our arses off to please you, and it turns to be a damp squib, laugh it off and remember we've made some good food too. If we are sick, know that we hate it more than you do.
What we get:
Of course, some of the male species are very intelligent they take us out, protect us, buy us things,and make us feel cherished. For all those men, we women salute. The others however, confuse being affectionate as being weak or less manly, hence they try and put us down every chance they get.
For them,I have to say that the men who show that they care,acknowledge the fact that the women in their lives only make them stronger and not weaker.
So I conclude that the women in your life, your sisters;mothers; girlfriends/spouses; colleagues; the nameless women who struggle daily to get a seat on the public transport; the woman peddler on the streets; the woman who hears the cat-calls and comments but walks away like nothing happened and this humble blogger just want:
To be treated with dignity and earn our respect,
To give a little Affection/Love which we so easily share with you,
To provide physical,emotional and financial security.
Now, Is that so difficult??
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
For all the over grown Boys out there..Become Men!
All the twenties and thirties Boys, Learn something from this! (for the forties and beyond if they are still boys,during their middle age crisis, God help them!!).
Boys,Learn to be Men! Women don't need macho boys. We need Men.
Check out this link:
http://menshealth.intoday.in/menshealth/story.jsp?contentid=3276&sid=5&cid=22"
Courtesy: Men's health magazine
Better save the page or buy the magazine and stick the page onto your mirror and look at it daily.Wait, when was the last time you guys saw a mirror? Stick it somewhere you're bound to see if you really want to prove yourself as a man.
We'd see whether these important commandments drill some sense into the thick skulls you guys have.
Boys,Learn to be Men! Women don't need macho boys. We need Men.
Check out this link:
http://menshealth.intoday.in/menshealth/story.jsp?contentid=3276&sid=5&cid=22"
Courtesy: Men's health magazine
Better save the page or buy the magazine and stick the page onto your mirror and look at it daily.Wait, when was the last time you guys saw a mirror? Stick it somewhere you're bound to see if you really want to prove yourself as a man.
We'd see whether these important commandments drill some sense into the thick skulls you guys have.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thor Movie --Review
I just caught up with the new 3D movie, Thor and I felt there was not a proper review in the internet which did the film full justice. And, I wanted to rectify that by writing what really captivated me and the audience in general about the movie.
I got the afternoon show at 4:15 and I was very excited as this was my first 3 D movie!
As it was a case of novelty for me, I was the person trying to catch the snow-flakes till the guy behind told me to stop catching imaginary flakes and watch the movie. But that didn't dampen my movie experience at all.In fact, by that time I was engrossed into the movie.
The movie begins on Earth wherein we're hauled into the blowing winds which rapidly becomes a tornado by a astro-scientist Jane(Natalie Portman)and her two friends Erik and Darcy.
From here, as a prelude, we are transported to the realm Asgard(ASS-GUARD, sorry I couldn't resist).
In Asgard we're introduced to Odin(Anthony Hopkins- Shining through again), Thor( Chris Hemsworth-- who looks absolutely yummy!!)and his brother Loki(Tom Hiddleston- Portrayed Loki without any hysterics) and a multitude of Thor's loyal comrades.
The realms Asgard and Jotunheim are on the brink of war and Thor arrogantly lands on the enemy realm and a fight ensues. Odin gets angry, relieves Thor of his powers and banishes him to earth. He throws the mighty Hammer so that it could be held only by a Man fit for it. How Thor changes ,retrieves the hammer and fights off the evil forces form the story.
The character sketch has been done well and the scenes with Jane and Thor a pleasure to watch, poignant and sweet. The effects and the details into the realms Asgard and the frost realm Jotunheim are breathtaking. There's never a lull in the story line and it moves at a brisk space.
However, I felt the part where the mighty Thor's change of attitude citing Jane a reason was a bit far-fetched. There were very few scenes that could lend credibility to this. And, we see Jane the brain behave like a simpering school girl during the few scenes she's around Thor.
How a virile, arrogant guy, finds a woman behaving like a school girl with her first crush, attractive, is beyond me. As a female, I'd rather have Jane maintain some womanly dignity. Thor doesn't need a girl, he needs a woman to pull his mighty rear a peg or two.
And, yes. I did drool during the scene of Chris Hemsworth without his shirt. That's an added bonus. The men and the boys get to see the action and effects while the girls and women get to see Chris and the way he kisses Jane's hand.(Ahh.. Sigh..)
Overall the movie is a family entertainer!
My Rating--4 stars
I got the afternoon show at 4:15 and I was very excited as this was my first 3 D movie!
As it was a case of novelty for me, I was the person trying to catch the snow-flakes till the guy behind told me to stop catching imaginary flakes and watch the movie. But that didn't dampen my movie experience at all.In fact, by that time I was engrossed into the movie.
The movie begins on Earth wherein we're hauled into the blowing winds which rapidly becomes a tornado by a astro-scientist Jane(Natalie Portman)and her two friends Erik and Darcy.
From here, as a prelude, we are transported to the realm Asgard(ASS-GUARD, sorry I couldn't resist).
In Asgard we're introduced to Odin(Anthony Hopkins- Shining through again), Thor( Chris Hemsworth-- who looks absolutely yummy!!)and his brother Loki(Tom Hiddleston- Portrayed Loki without any hysterics) and a multitude of Thor's loyal comrades.
The realms Asgard and Jotunheim are on the brink of war and Thor arrogantly lands on the enemy realm and a fight ensues. Odin gets angry, relieves Thor of his powers and banishes him to earth. He throws the mighty Hammer so that it could be held only by a Man fit for it. How Thor changes ,retrieves the hammer and fights off the evil forces form the story.
The character sketch has been done well and the scenes with Jane and Thor a pleasure to watch, poignant and sweet. The effects and the details into the realms Asgard and the frost realm Jotunheim are breathtaking. There's never a lull in the story line and it moves at a brisk space.
However, I felt the part where the mighty Thor's change of attitude citing Jane a reason was a bit far-fetched. There were very few scenes that could lend credibility to this. And, we see Jane the brain behave like a simpering school girl during the few scenes she's around Thor.
How a virile, arrogant guy, finds a woman behaving like a school girl with her first crush, attractive, is beyond me. As a female, I'd rather have Jane maintain some womanly dignity. Thor doesn't need a girl, he needs a woman to pull his mighty rear a peg or two.
And, yes. I did drool during the scene of Chris Hemsworth without his shirt. That's an added bonus. The men and the boys get to see the action and effects while the girls and women get to see Chris and the way he kisses Jane's hand.(Ahh.. Sigh..)
Overall the movie is a family entertainer!
My Rating--4 stars
Monday, May 9, 2011
Beauty products and me
The Woman that I am: Beauty products and me: "'ve decided to jump in2 the foray in the search for the ultimate cream tat will clear my zits and give me clear skin!!I wish there was some ..."
The Free-Floaters
Every1 knows that Man is a social animal, then what about the people who travel alone or like their personal space a tad too much? Does that mean they're not social?
I make quite a few friends, stay in touch with them through electronic means and even meet few of them when the notion strikes me.
The prospect of making new friends never fazes me, what does, is the meeting of like minded people. In that aspect, I've very few pals who fit the bill. I could never be a hypocrite and be very close with people who are radically different from me.
That said, I do maintain relationships with such people too but only because either we known each other and it would be rude not to have small talk with them or we fraternize for mutual benefit.
So why are people networking and socializing with friends anyway?
* They want to relax and have fun
* They seek some help
* They do not want to be alone
All the reasons above show that Man is an opportunist in many ways. And it has been accepted because there's this symbiosis between people.
Also people try hard to please others as a means of being accepted with other people.
The ones who scorn this and live their life by means they see fit are seen as opposing to the group-friend society. I'd term them Free-Floaters.
The free-floaters are overtly social only with close friends, and have realized early on that they would rather be themselves than please everyone.
Further more I realized as a free floater ,that when you move away from people whom you do not think of as a potential friend or an annoying relative who's a change face, either they let you be yourself and keep a respectful distance, or when they know that you are not bent on pleasing them,they try their best to please you, even though that is impossible as you can see through their facade.
So if you are a Free-Floater, be glad that you have a mind of your own and you socialize with whom you want.The when and the how are entirely based on the availability, time and "your space" factor.As a free-floater, be proud that you do not belong to any cliche bandwagon.
I make quite a few friends, stay in touch with them through electronic means and even meet few of them when the notion strikes me.
The prospect of making new friends never fazes me, what does, is the meeting of like minded people. In that aspect, I've very few pals who fit the bill. I could never be a hypocrite and be very close with people who are radically different from me.
That said, I do maintain relationships with such people too but only because either we known each other and it would be rude not to have small talk with them or we fraternize for mutual benefit.
So why are people networking and socializing with friends anyway?
* They want to relax and have fun
* They seek some help
* They do not want to be alone
All the reasons above show that Man is an opportunist in many ways. And it has been accepted because there's this symbiosis between people.
Also people try hard to please others as a means of being accepted with other people.
The ones who scorn this and live their life by means they see fit are seen as opposing to the group-friend society. I'd term them Free-Floaters.
The free-floaters are overtly social only with close friends, and have realized early on that they would rather be themselves than please everyone.
Further more I realized as a free floater ,that when you move away from people whom you do not think of as a potential friend or an annoying relative who's a change face, either they let you be yourself and keep a respectful distance, or when they know that you are not bent on pleasing them,they try their best to please you, even though that is impossible as you can see through their facade.
So if you are a Free-Floater, be glad that you have a mind of your own and you socialize with whom you want.The when and the how are entirely based on the availability, time and "your space" factor.As a free-floater, be proud that you do not belong to any cliche bandwagon.
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