I have always loved studying the human psyche as it's one of the most complex and enigmatic entities of human kind. I have come across various articles or write-ups about what traits people felt were attractive in the opposite sex, albeit none with the Indian mindset.
This got me wondering if Indians perceived attraction the same way as our counterparts across the world did.
I assure you that all these answers are from real people and I have not used my creative license on any of the below.
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" They should actually behave like a man, actually have a spine every once in a while at least, and be respectful of the women's feelings and emotions at the same time.
Physically as well I think I want the ones that are more the man kinds, by that I mean I don't quite like the cute pretty types in matching clothes, they rather be with the lazy beard and a shirt with the sleeves folded to the elbows and denims but smart shoes (always).
Somebody who is kind and generous and thoughtful, who can listen but talk much as well.
The guy has to be smart, I don't care if they are younger than me but i would be really annoyed if they are more stupid than me, that said I don't think I'm that smart, I'm pretty stupid so being smart in front of me is not a challenge. But not too smart as well else I would be kinda overwhelmed.
Somebody who likes to travel and go for long walks. Somebody who treats me like an equal and at the same time who could be comforting during high levels of distress.
A guy with thick eyebrows and sharp eyes and tall would be pretty perfect.
Somebody who wants to have babies and do exciting adventurous stuff even outside the house .
Somebody with whom I have stuff in common with and hence can spend a Sunday with him alone and not get bored.
Yep, I can be demanding! but I think true love is out there and I'm going to find him and when I do find him, I'm not going to let him go! "-- Anonymous woman in search of true love
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" For first impression: Physical features or kindness towards one.
For friendship: The space provided by the girl. Trust and opinion about the guy.
For love/marriage: Can't live without her feeling takes it further.
Overall: Kindness and Beauty(Can't define beauty, depends on individual perspective) are attributed to girls that attracts a guy(or at least me ) " - Seshachalam Srinivasan
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" Men understand the situation and find a solution. But handling it is not as good as women.. Women are more emotional oriented." -- Uma
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"Girl's Ass " --- Anonymous Ass Lover
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"A man's Sense of humor, Intelligence and Wit. He and I should have the same wave length" --- Susan
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"I think her way of talking, the way she dresses up and how often she makes other people smile " --- Ankit Kohli
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" Eyes and Physical features" -- Sundeep Babbar
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"Height and Sense of Humor" -- Anonymous girl who hates to be photographed
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" Attraction can be in many forms, physical, emotional, intellectual or even persona based. We are also attracted to our friends as we would like to spend most of our time with them, or even our families as we miss them as they are not around for a long time.
So attraction should not be confused only for mating senses, it is a part of our social protocol which runs in our unconscious mind all the time.
But I guess your question is specific to the opposite sex only right?
What attracts me the most in women? Hmmm.. that is a tricky one.
To be honest my interests have been changing with time and I can't say for sure that if a woman have 'these' set of attributes (physical or persona based), I would be attracted to her.
But yes, there are things that specifically grabs my attention. As a sexually active young man, yes I am attracted to certain physical parts of women, but the overall personality decides whether I am going to fall for her or not!
A women can be as crazy as man, but I really get turned off when they talk dirty, specially in public. Some people get turned on by that, but I feel girls should be more sophisticated (go ahead call me a chauvinist).
Sometimes I feel few want to talk that way just to pretentiously sound cool. A girl with beauty and brains but no concern for personal hygiene is also a big no ( I am sure all female readers know what I am talking about , yes, you need to go the the parlor to do certain stuff regularly, we make fun of it, but its more gross if you don't take care of it).
I feel attracted to confident women who know how to carry themselves, can take strong decisions and can be completely independent from me.
But at the same time I also feel attracted to homely girls who seek my advice on taking decisions and can make me feel that she needs a shoulder, my shoulder.
I know what you must be thinking. May be the reason behind the 2nd attraction is that I want to quench my 'man of the house' thirst, and that too is chauvinist! But yes, I feel that way, can't help it. I am just being honest about what I truly feel.
To be concise , I feel every boy wants his girl to be like his mom, caring, loving and who stays with you through black and blue. There is nothing hotter than a girl who stays with you through the tough times of your life. -- Yash Deep Singh
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“By 'Attraction' I presume sexual attraction, in which case the
question I am answering is "What I think is attractive in a woman?"
because I am a straight Indian male.
Firstly I like it
when women are straight-backed, proud and bold. I am attracted to women who have strong opinions and are unabashed. Also a woman who is not always interested in her
own physical appearance is attractive.
I believe that
woman who don't bother much about their own physical appearance (like bothered about make-up, constantly talking about their
hairdo, shoes, accessories blah blah) are usually confident in their abilities
and don't use their 'fairer sex' status and are also usually sensible.
Moving on to
physical appearance, I've noticed that the faces of girls with the above set of
characters are generally to my liking usually they look smart, I like smart,
rather than beautiful faces.
This
is really un-quantifiable but an example is I like Monica more than Rachel in
Friends (Sit-Com). Other optional preference is I like women with shoulder
length or waist length hair, in between is nor really attractive.
As for
structural appearance I am attracted to the same structure an average man is,
very similar to the sculptures of Goddesses present in Mamallapuram.
I do realize
that the above description is a highly idealized scenario but its only
imagination and really I needn't limit it. “--- Saishankar Rajeev
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"I would definitely be lying if
I said, "The looks don't matter". They do indeed..... The difference
is that I don't expect the guy to be a hunk (wouldn't hurt if he was
though).
But apart from the, "ooh that's a hot guy!" reactions ,
the thing which attracts me to a guy is when he pays attention to what I have
to say and likes engaging me
in conversation.
Of course,
that does not mean that I like every guy who talks to me...... I like guys who
talk to me and respect my point of view on a certain topic even
if it doesn't reflect their own view of it.... that's when I start thinking,
"Hey, he isn't half bad!"
So
CONVERSATION and DISCOURSE would be the things which make a huge impression on
me!"
-- Anonymous woman who loves
conversation
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" So what do I find attractive in a man?
I find men
who are elder to me, attractive. The minute I know someone's my age or younger
, he's outta the spectrum. I like serious-looking, seemingly intellectual men
with glasses.( Like likes like?) Men who look like they have the whole world to
carry. They make me wonder what I could do to bring a smile on their face, feel
like saying," Hey you ain't alone , I got your back." Well dressed
men, a good voice.
Honesty and trust are crucial factors. I couldn't be with a man who'd not be honest with me. It's a part of me. I'm not a person who'd tolerate lies. Someone who'd treat me with dignity and respect. I'm an independent woman, I find men who'd let me do my own thing, have my own friends, attractive. However, he must be possessive about me. I find that primitive aspect attractive as heck! Men who are agnostic or regard humanity higher.
A man who does things for me before I even ask it. A man who is not scared to make the first move because, well, I'm shy. And he should know that I take time. A man who doesn't raise his voice, but is calm and determined.
Someone who'd understand my love for books, the poems I write, my sensuality and my need for personal space sometimes. Someone who'd kiss me senseless, someone who'd own me and have enough balls to tell my father, "She's no more your concern, she's mine."
Overall, the guy's gotta be intellectual, well-dressed, honest, kind, stand up for me, brave and a man who'd be respected by the other great men in my life, my father and bro.
---- Author
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To conclude,
- Men are attracted to physical features at first and then want equally compatible personality traits.
- However, they would overlook an awesome personality if the woman in question does not seem attractive to them.
- Women are attracted to physicality too, but have more preference for traits such as humor, intelligence, honesty etc.
- They would be attracted more by the personality traits of a man rather than his pretty face.
