Soul Searching myself

More than wondering about the secrets of the universe, questioning my existence and trying to find my purpose, I always wonder who I am as a person and what exactly I need in my life.
This is as much as I understand or know myself as on date of this post.

• I'm flawed. I have never seen myself as perfect and revel in the fact that my flaws make me stronger.
• I have a few close friends with whom I can be crazy, childish, humorous or care free. Only my close pals get to see my light hearted side. 
• I can be naive. In life, I always see good in people.
• I wish I was more shrewd or more ruthless. It's a defense mechanism.
• Mostly I'm happy, pumped up or silently sad. Rarely people get to see my raging anger.
• I'm very playful.
• I am stand offish with others, silent, not mingling much in fact. This may seem to others as am arrogant, whereas in reality I don't know them enough to let my hair down. I'm my caring self with friends, reserved with others.
• When I say caring, I show I care when I listen. I always like providing a shoulder to lean on. I like being needed.
• When it comes to me though, I don't like sharing, not that I don't want to or that I want to hide, just that I believe when I share I become weak.I don't like making myself weak. I want to share but I haven't found another soul who would understand and care enough.
• I am emotional and sensitive, it is only with a few that I share my insecurities or whatever that bugs me.
• I insulate myself from the world to cope up sometimes. Music truly gives me peace.
• I abhorr gossip. I try to stay away from the people and it mostly. I'd rather be isolated than swim in a mire of talk.
• I'm honest. It's a liability sometimes.
• I can be jealous, but I always wish another person well, somehow being excessively jealous seems beneath me. 
• I believe I have a  good heart. 
• I can be truly lazy and not do work at all or I can drive myself to death working.
• I bury myself in work sometimes. When I'm working, I'm preoccupied with it.
• The smallest things make me happy. 
• I know I'm strong. I just don't like talking about my travails. I always look forward.
• Only thing that drives me, the will to live and beat the odds. 
• I always refer to boxing matches in my life, I may fall down bleeding but I'm never staying down.
• I can be crazy-happy. (Again for emphasis) :p
• I don't giggle. I laugh. Loud.And when I do, it's with all my heart.
• I love laughing. I cherish that gift truly.
• I like being happy.
• I want to love and be loved. I'm a human being after all.
• I like to cook. A labor of love.
• Sometimes I turn to books than people.
• I'm unpredictable. I can be serious, mature and then suddenly be silly or clown around.
• I have learnt not to judge people without truly knowing them.
• I love food. 
• I can be a wallflower/bookworm/steel magnolia/naughty siren/crazy witch.
• I'm still learning about myself and every time I surprise myself.
• No one truly knows me and no, this blog won't help you much either.
• The jury is still out on whether I even want that.
• If there's something for certain that I know, it is that I want to be happy and die a good human being. The rest are just details.